Ramblings

2003-10-17T13:23:00.000-04:00

Sieg Heil

Just surfing out to washingtonjobs.com and decided to post. It's really sad that most of my posts here comprise of how much I fucking hate my job , but frankly, this is the part of my life that ignites the most passionate response (and takes up all of my fucking free time).

Today I came to the realization that my coworker, who is the other receptionist, is not really an employee of the business at all, but really just a charity case. Out of the five days of this week, she was 'sick' two of them, and went home early the other three. She didn't have to ask either; the manager usually comes out quietly and coos, 'Do you want to go home? It's not busy. You should really go home.' Meanwhile I am trying to do about eight things at the same time while the phone rings incessantly and the other members of the office stand around sipping diet soda.

She uses her cell phone as a walkie-talkie and scarcely is off it at all during the day (usually telling her mother what she wants for dinner), despite the fact that cell phones are not allowed to be used in our medical office because they can interfere with equipment. The office manager has never complained, although when another employee was visiting from another office and used her cell briefly, she was reprimanded.

Another employee and I wished to receive our checks before lunch one Thursday so we could get to the banks before they closed at 2 pm on a holiday when the banks would be closed Friday. The manager refused flatly; we were not able to get our checks in the bank on time and they did not clear properly until Wednesday. A 3 day weekend is pretty fucking worthless with no money. But the princess recently got her check a day early when she was going out of town for the weekend. No problem!

The fact that she drives two hours to work, is obscenely knocked up, is quitting at some fundamentally undetermined point in the near future, and has a husband who has just returned from Iraq is materially irrelevant. There is a firm boundary that needs to be drawn between work and personal life if this office is going to function at all. This person has been an absolute no-loader for as long as I have worked there and I have been praying for months and months that she finally quits (and please, God, don't come back).

Now I have discovered that they do not plan to replace her at all. They fully expect that I am going to work the front desk, five days a week, by myself (and now must work every third Saturday instead of every fourth). And the manager did not have the balls to tell me to my face. I found out through a rumor from a coworker. They had the sheer chutzpah to put up the new Saturday schedule withouth notifying me or getting my input.

The reason they are doing this is so they can save on payroll in order to give some people raises. Essentially, I am going to do the work of two people, and work more hours, in order that other people can get raises.

There is also a rumor that they are going to bring another worker over from another office a couple days a week, but working with this individual is worse than being alone as she has worked two months and still has not picked anything up. So I have to do my job and constantly train and re-train her as well. (Not to mention disgusting personal habits like not washing her hands after sneezing into them, not keeping the 'patient pens' separated from ours and leaving soda bottles on the ground where they get kicked around.)

2003-07-14T20:58:00.000-04:00

Back By Popular Reprimand

Okay okay, so I am a lazy scumbag who can't be bothered to update her blog more than a couple of times a year. Am I really so fascinating? A regular human ant farm. So... let's stick my head under the microscope, shall we?

Pet peeve of the day: People who think the time on their watch is the only valid frame of reference in the entire universe. We open up from lunch at 1:30. Inevitably, there is some cranky perv banging on the door at 1:25 or even 1:00 despite the large multi-hued sign on the door. Upon finally being admitted they are in a huff, because THEIR WATCH SAID IT WAS 1:30 FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AGO.

Second pet peeve: People who think that when they are calling or standing at the window, THEY ARE THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON THAT YOUR BUSINESS EXISTS FOR. I was running the reception desk all by myself this evening peeps, and I had to put three lines on hold while I was running around performing endless petty tasks that kept popping up in my action queue. They all hung up eventually, blessed be, and one called back, hey! Can I put you on hold? I WAS ALREADY ON HOLD AND I'VE BEEN WAITING!!

2003-07-01T20:48:00.000-04:00

The Wicker Man

Check this peeps, I have recently uncovered a new gem of a movie and it is called, you guessed it.. The Wicker Man.
It stars Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle, the leader of a group of Scottish pagans on a small isle in the middle of nowhere. A self-righteous and indignant Christian copper is on the beat investigating the alleged disappearance of a preteen girl. He slowly comes to believe she is meant to be sacrificed to ensure that their apple crop does not spoil again. It is actually quite amusing (at least for anyone who appreciates morbid and unapologetically deranged occurences) and must be seen to appreciated. I cannot allow myself to divulge further details as it would spoil the movie.. and the rather shocking ending. If one enjoys the sight of naked girlies leaping over the bonfire, or an entire inn singing a bawdy tribute to the landlord's daughter (who also stars in a stunning nude song and dance scene), or Christopher Lee dressed up like Biz Markee from that "Girl, You've Got What I Need" video... you mustly simply watch to find out the mystery of... THE WICKER MAN!

2003-01-27T19:40:00.000-05:00

Two Towers D&D Spoof

There's a shit-funny faux transcript of a LOTR roleplaying session here. Samples below.

DM: Okay. A company of 100 men ride over the hill. They have another 1900 men
on horses somewhere nearby, too.
PC1: You telling me that I can track 50 orcs who are 30 miles away by putting
my ear to the ground, but I can't notice 2000 horses or 100 guys riding down
on me?
DM: Well, it's not like you failed to notice 10,000 troops assembling outside
of your tower, or anything stupid like that.
PC1: True. That's be really stupid.
PC2: Let's kill em all and take their stuff!
PC1: What? No!
PC3: No, the twink is right. I have no ranks in ride, but it'll suck less
than this running heavily laden with a lousy movement rate thing. I say we
take'em.
PC1: I stand up and make a diplomacy check... 12.
DM. They surround you guys.
PC3: I deliberately fail my diplomacy, and act like a jerk. Betcha I can goad
him into a fight! Oooh, I like his helmet.
DM: Yeah? He insults you.
PC2: Hey, he's some sort of royalty! I bet if you kill him, you get to be
prince! I draw an arrow and ready an action to pierce his skull if he tries
anything!
PC1: Shut UP, you dinks! We need this guy. Diplomacy check... DC 22.
PC2 and PC3: Awwwww.
DM: He tells you the king is no longer in his right mind.
PC3: Oh, okay then. We'll kill HIM and take HIS stuff!

DM: Okay, want to attack?
PC2 (suspicious) No, I want to see who this guy is first. I'll wait.
DM: I told you, behind all that glare he looks like Saruman! Sounds like him,
too!
PC2: We've never met Saruman before.
DM: Oh, yeah. Whatever. Like an evil white wizard, okay? So, do you attack?
PC2: No, I told you. I hold my action.
DM: Fine. Elf, you want to attack him, right? Roll to hit!
PC2: Don't do it, guy. He's trying to screw us. I can sense it.

DM: Ok, let's recap - last week you guys just finished fighting off an ambush
of worgs while protecting the peasant march to Helm's Deep. Since Dave is
late again, I'm ruling he fell of a cliff or something, that will
show him.
PC1: I look over the cliff; did he drop any swag as he went over?
DM: There is no sign of him over the cliff, but Legolas finds the Elven Jewel
on one of the dying monsters.
PC2: Sweet! That has got to be worth some serious gps. Maybe I can use it to
upgrade my bow again!
PC1: (sarcastic) That's just what we need. You go elf.
PC2: (oblivious) Thanks!

DM: OK after two more days of marching, you see the fortress ahead. It's
stone wall impenetrable for an age. The fortress seems to be built from...
PC2: Oh, I wonder if there is some where I can unload this necklace!
DM: Legolas, the only people here are peasants and such, no one has
enough money to buy the jewel.
PC2: How about the Aowen chick? She seemed very interested in it before.
DM: When you show it to Aowen she starts to weep uncontrollably.
PC2: You are just saying that so I can't buy a better bow.

And much... much more.

2003-01-07T22:16:00.000-05:00

Lego Madness

Awesome ass lego sculptures. I only wish I'd had half as many blocks when I was an ankle biter. This guy's built Rodin's 'The Thinker' and Dilbert characters. Escher and mathematical models as well. How cool is that? They look pretty damn good too.

2002-12-23T22:53:00.000-05:00

I cannot think of a witty header

Today is the 23rd of Christmas, which is the day before Christmas for me, because it has always been tradition in my family to open presents and gather together on Christmas Eve.. but it is probably 2 days before Christmas for the rest of you yokels. Needless to say, it is one of the heaviest shopping days of the year. The crowd at this point in the game consists mainly of people too stupid or lazy to do their Christmas shopping at a reasonable interval in advance and are invariably astonished at how many other stupid and lazy people are packing into the stores to do the same exact thing. Do people think they are the only ones who celebrate Christmas by buying mass quantities of crap? Then begins the crankiness. They cannot find the Item They Are Looking For. Inexplicably, they have placed all of their faith that our store will have The Item They Are Looking For at the Exact Moment they happen to Need it... which is of course The Day Before Flipping Christmas. At least this close in the game they have stopped demanding that we rush special order items.. which we simply aren't set up to do.

Then.. they spy the line.. and panic. It snakes towards the back of the store, growing and shrinking like a Slinky. Several people demand that we ring them up at the information desk, which is rather interesting because we have no registers at the fricking information desk, a fact which must be expounded several times to the same individuals. No, we cannot activate your gift card. Yes, you must stand in that line to have your gift card activated. I cannot wave my magic wand at it. One man demands to know how long the wait is.. I suppose my guesstimate is more accurate than his own piss-poor judgment. After estimating a 20-minute wait he scribbles down the names of the three kiddie books he carried and left for another store. Hmmmm.. It will take at least 20 minutes to drive to another store.. which may or may not have the books you want.. and guess what? There's that fucking line again! What a surprise! Dumbshit. Three Christmases I have witnessed, all the same. Hominids pack themselves into retail outlets everywhere and expect instant fucking service, no matter how many thousands of them jam the aisles and clog the air with their noxious emissions. A nation becomes wet and frothy and agitated as the magic minutes tick tick tick until Santa drops his wet cumload onto the faces of dutiful Americans everywhere.. and people don't understand where the fucking line comes from. It consists of all of you, you fucking morons.

2002-12-10T20:14:00.000-05:00

Redux

My boyfriend sent off a package for me today with several of the below mentioned address labels and leftist stickers plastered to it. Well, more than several, actually. The entire top half of the box was covered in address labels. I covered quite a lot of the rest with various stickers with whales, wolves, dolphins and the like on them simply because I had no other use for them. He had to stand in line for quite a long time, about half an hour, which is completely typical of the pathetically understaffed post offices in this area. During this period the package apparently elicitied much attention from the fellow queuers. They ticked off the organizations that they also possessed labels from and noted the ones they did not. They confided that when spammed with a mere letter asking for donations they tend to toss it away. But when gifted with address labels or some such tchotchke they feel obligated to cough up some dough. So my worst fear is confirmed yet again: A disturbingly large portion of humanity is unable to resist these sucker ploys. The receipt of some small gift elicits the fear of imbalance and another 'gift' is returned. Let loose the dogs of Pavlov!

The fact that these organizations exist year after year after year is prima facie evidence that they receive enough donations to stay afloat. The fact that these organizations do not seem to make any lasting achievements in the areas of world peace, saving the rainforest, or preserving endangered species speaks a greater truth: that coughing up money simply will not change a thing. Individual and group action is required on a far larger scale than anything we have ever experienced.

It is my conclusion that these organizations exist, not to service the causes they trumpet, but to assuage our feelings of guilt caused by our inaction.

2002-12-05T19:14:00.000-05:00

Charity

In a moment of weakness I made a couple of donations to charity. Admittedly at $8 an hour I could probably use some charity myself, but I fell victim to guilt pangs induced by several mass mailings that arrived in my box. They cooed and sang of mutilated and helpless cats and dogs, starving pets, lonely wretched beings whose only desire was a few crumbs of food and an occasional fierce embrace. I was overwhelmed by the pleas of women everywhere who only wanted to control their reproductive destinies. Certainly causes I identify with; perhaps I could fit equally in both categories. Feeling tremendous shame at not having done anything to make this world a better place, never having even given a hobo my spare change or helped to build a house for the homeless, I mailed off two $25 checks, not much, but rather a sacrifice given my income.. I hoped it would help buy food for a cat shelter, or help pay to provide free counseling for.. women who need it, I suppose. Well I did adopt an unwanted cat, and another that had unhappily and loudly made my parking lot its home.. but it seemed so paltry compared to the thousands and thousands of cold and feral beings whose only lot was to survive in any fashion accessible to them.

So I made my charitable donation, mailed it off, watched my checks cashed.

In the many months since this occurred, I have received several dozen pleas for cash from as money different liberal organizations, usually and inexplicably accompanied by reams of personalized address labels.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. But this picture shall show the evidence of the Humane Society of the United States's desperate attempts to lure more money from my wallet.

This ensemble consist of:

two separate sets of address labels, one of them christmas themed
a personalized note pad
one personalized mug
one christmas package, including a small amount of wrapping paper, 8 christmas cards in 4 different designs with envelopes, 4 to/from gift labels, some gold foil ribbon, and two small ribbon bows.

All in all, 4 or 5 separate mailings for these items. And probably more letters that I simply threw out. Well.. I have to say I've probably almost gotten my $25 value back in marketing materials. But I'd rather have my money used to save animals from being euthanized in pounds or to save homeless animals somehow. I'm terribly annoyed and disappointed that this organization I thought would use my money to alleviate suffering has instead squandered it on attempting to blackmail my emotions into coughing up even more money. Where does the cycle end? If I sent them $100 would I get a jacket with my name on it next to the HSUS logo? I can only hope this technique works better on people of better means than I, and their money goes towards the needy somehow.

But I cannot deny that the source of the problem lies with myself. It's perfectly obvious that handing my money over to some random entity to do vicarious good in the world simply won't work. I feel a tremendous urge to help somehow. But the angle of attack and the cause are not yet clear to me.

2002-12-04T20:55:00.000-05:00

Cat Turd Story

I just have to say that my cat is so goddamn spoiled he doesn't even cover his turds in the cat box.

This is certainly not something I am proud of. If I could figure out a way to train him to throw the litter on top without giving him a litterbox neurosis, I would. But.. this is a cat of very little brain.

Sometimes, my other cat will even go in to cover up the mess. But more often, it is I or my boyfriend who must perform this hated duty. For the turd must be covered up, lest we stifle in its death-dealing cloud of evil. We are alerted to the emergency situation by a blast of hateful evil emanating from the master bathroom. Gulping down a lungful of fresh air, I will enter the zone of contamination, trying determinedly not to let the slightest molecule of vapor drift into my nasal chambers. I grab the litter scoop and desperately scrape a mound of sand over the land mine. Right about now I can feel the heavy scat molecules assaulting the tiny defenseless hairs inside of my nostrils. I release a short burst of air to flood them away, thus drastically shortening my air supply.

Now I must flee! Flee, to the relative safety of the outside bedroom. Flee, to release the carbon-dioxide polluting my lungs and brain and replenish the oxygen and shit-free air that my body needs. But the job is not over. I must swallow another payload of air and reenter No Man's Land. Now.. my impossible mission is to light a stick of incense to combat the foulness that has smirched the air. Snatching a stick of squarish brown mystery incense from the shell dish, I cram it into it's ceramic holder (it's just a square with a hole in it, folks) and grab the pack of matches. The stick takes forever to light due to the poor quality of air but finally sputters into flame. I blow it out with my last breath and flee the scene of the crime.

***

Now this cat is not intelligent enough to cover up his own turds.. but appears to be learning to hold his crap in until I, unlucky victim who comes home first from work, stumbles through the door. How else to explain the increasing quantity of times that.. shortly after coming home from work and attempting to unwind... I hear a whining growl and see a flash of fur blasting away from the master bathroom. Perhaps I am so foolish as to ignore this obvious sign of turd materialization. This cat will sit... and stare at me.. and begin to meow.. and meow.. and stare... until... face it.. i have no choice but to accept this mission.

2002-12-04T20:30:00.000-05:00

Cool Used Book Site

Found a cool used book site that provided me with a couple of titles that ebay and amazon etc. failed to supply at a reasonable price. Was looking for the sequels to Logan's Run, which are Logan's Search and Logan's World.. sadly enough, all three titles are out of print. There have been a few compilation volumes printed but... sadly enough, they are out of print and none are available for less than $35. Abebooks.com basically serves as a sort of Napsterish site that doesn't stock any books but merely allows you to scan the inventory of participating booksellers all over, providing you with the backstock of used bookstores everywhere. Gravy! So I managed to scoop up both titles from the same seller in Canada (saving on shipping) for about 12 bucks with shipping. Check 'em out.

2002-10-31T22:06:00.000-05:00

Big Brother takes another Byte

This describes how cable companies that offer broadband internet services are seeking to end unlimited monthly internet usage rates and crack down on file-sharing and high-speed broadcasting.

Nice.

2002-10-31T21:50:00.000-05:00

Advertising Whores

Police cars are turning into rolling billboards.

When will it stop?

Is nothing left that cannot be sold?

2002-10-21T20:26:00.000-04:00

Anger

Well folks, there you have it. Just ready to watch an hour of my fav-o-rite pundit Michael Moore chattin' it out live in his hometown Flint, Michigan with Donahue on MSNBC.. and guess what? At the last minute, they have pre-empted this show in order to bring us Late-Breaking News about the Mutha-fuckin' Snipah Killah Man.
What?

Um.. hello?

Isn't.. this.. kind of what.. CNN is for..? Like.. those suckers who can't get ENOUGH fucking paranoia spoon-fed to them.. can pick up the remote.. you know.. that black piece of plastic with the battery cover missing.. no, the other one, retard.. not the one for the DVD player.. no, that is the VCR control. Okay, keep trying. The rest of us want to watch MICHAEL MOORE, you bastards!! Well, those of us who have seen his movie, 'Bowling for Columbine', will realize that this just proves one of the points of the movie.. our common culture is very much shaped by the media.. whose main interest is feeding us violent and stupid drivel.. like more news about the sniper. Okay, some lunatic is out shooting people. We know this. The only breaking news I want to hear about this particular topic is when they find the nut and jail 'em or shoot 'em or some damn thing. The fact that there is a lunatic running loose is NOT NEWS. Don't I pay for television to be piped into my house? I pay to have mind-dumbing adverts slotted into my brain in between info-tainment hits? Well, I should bloody well be able to choose what programs I ought to allow to beamed into my shriveled little peanut of a brain.. oder was?

I only hope that broad public usage of broadband Internet media allows for a more grassroots approach to news/entertainment media distribution.. a simple click on a different link will bring the desired program into play. I'll pay for that. Then finally give MSNBC and all the other acronym-ites the flush.

btw.. I dunno if it's only in the Washington DC area that Donahue has been preempted. It's a strong possibility. It really... pisses me off that because of some arbitrary geographical profiling I am forced to forgo the Michael Moore show that the entire country is now watching.

Fuckers.

2002-10-03T20:04:00.000-04:00

Scary Twat

Found a wacko link for you space ghosts. Here is where you can poke the crab...

2002-09-19T19:25:00.000-04:00

Several Days Later

In the midst of my weeklong + 2 weekend vacation and buzzing hard on rum and juice; making no apologies. Strange how a handful of extra days can heal the most jaded and crusted wounds, I almost feel as though I would welcome the return to my despised job. Haven't got nearly as much done as I'd hoped, but it's bloody worth it. The recovery and wholeness that I feel are well worth it. It's a shame I've used all my vacation days up...

2002-07-30T15:48:00.000-04:00

Brain Damage May Make Your Life Easier

In which the author pulls out several thorns from her brain and entraps them thusly:

Woman formerly walking in a straight direction now jaywalking across street and zigzagging in front of.. no, to the side of my car while screeching, Be Careful!

Woman and child wedging themselves in front of me at the grocery service desk just behind another woman returning an old bag of frozen shrimp. Shock and dismay as the service clerk who bloody well knew I was there first proceeds to serve the line-cutting cunt.

5:30 am demons tearing down the highway in a race to get their daily drudge-dose started first. Does driving an SUV turn one into an asshole, or do only assholes drive SUVs? Chicken or the egg.. chicken or the egg.

People in the break room talking and pounding on the table. Cell phones, talking talking. Trying to read.. nowhere else I can retreat to that is quiet or secluded except my car but it's bloody hot and I can't take the books out without borrowing or buying and that's too much bother for an hour's reading. Talking talking. Concentrate... read.. blab blab blab!

Just finished hiring new employees and staffing levels are almost adequate at times. Now a sudden exodus of managers stirs the pot. One very competent, one manic and maniacal, one unpopular and this one's exit makes me smile. Overbearing and domineering, this one shan't triumph in mucking with my schedule. This is my life, bitch. Eat it.

Car engine making funny noise but only when I turn my headlights on.

Wishing there were a twelve step program for life. I admit that I am powerless - that my life had become unmanageable. Wondering how the whole bloody thing doesn't come tumbling down under it's own weight and not caring if it does.

2002-06-19T17:48:00.000-04:00

Left Hand, Meet Mr. Right Hand

It looks like my scheduling difficulties may have worked themselves out. Another manager has decided to put together 'shelving teams' which will come in early and leave early also, and have 3 hours before opening to shelve, shelve, shelve. The hours offered basically coincide with my current schedule... so naturally I signed up. Not only will I maintain more closely my desired schedule but I will also have more time before opening, which has always been my favorite time of the day. Something about no interruptions to help a customer or answer the phone or do register or pick up the trash that some jackass has just deposited on your cart.. it's just better. Plus I get off two hours earlier. It's a dream come true, and a good idea, which is why I'll be surprised if this lasts more than a week.

2002-06-18T22:59:00.000-04:00

Levity

Just so you know I'm not a complete bitch.. I did have a nice day after I disconnected from the bookstore communal hive-mind. My apartment complex actually has a small but decent pool which seems blessedly unpopular. I could almost imagine it was my own private pool except for the obligatory lifeguard. Previous to this I had a nice workout session in the gym and then ate a steaming portion of fried garlic and onion hashed potatoes. But I would give it all up if it meant I would actually pay a reasonable rent. Unfortunately apartments without such amenities are scarcely cheaper. Just another aspect of the housing 'boom' which means further impoverishment for the many. And this lovely day is soon to be the exception to the rule as my schedule goes haywire.

2002-06-18T22:43:00.000-04:00

Fear

I should say the only reason I stay at this job at all is that it is so fucking hard to find another one that doesn't suck just as much. And beyond that is the naked fear of eviction. That's all. Every time I see the 500 dollars in my account my only thought is, That would only pay the rent for one month. The rents are so fucking ridiculous in this area because of the overpopulation. It's bloody human inflation. Too many people causes competition for housing which drives prices and rents up. (Which is supposed to be a good thing, if you read the newspapers. Why is it a good thing when your rent doubles?) Too many people causes competition for jobs, which drives wages down. Nice combination, huh?

They don't call it wage slavery for nothing.

Not to mention if I work the later shifts that virtually guarantees more register time, and during the most busy part of the day. So, more helpings of the shit I absofucking hate at a time when I should be home with my family. Fuck you.

2002-06-18T22:12:00.000-04:00

... Part 2

Now my wonderful employer notifies me that I must be more 'flexible' in my scheduling. I normally work day shift.. now they want me to work at least one mid shift and one closing. It has happened quite often that people working these hours must close til past eleven and then open at 7 or 8 again the very next day. Now why should I want to do that for $7.00 an hour? And now I am finding out that people who have been working there for far shorter periods of time have gotten raises and l'il ole me honestly did not know that we got raises.. ever. Because in not a year and a half I have not gotten a single penny. And to add acid to asshole-ness one of these newbies is on vacation this week.. I applied to take off two days this week over a month ago and could not get them. Could someone fucking explain that to me?

It is fairly obvious that since school is out and we are virtually inundated with applications that management is getting cocky in addition to stupid. Now it seems to me the problem with scheduling is a.) we don't have enough fucking people. and b.) management cannot schedule for shit. Now why should I sacrifice to cover for their stinginess and incompetence?

Speaking of the high-school flood... It appalls me to think that for the rest of my life I will be competing with green-faced pimple-poppers for the job crumbs that fall from the economical banquet table.

Fuck this system.

2002-06-15T22:44:00.000-04:00

Comments

The commenting system is back up. So comment away, comrades!

2002-06-15T22:26:00.000-04:00

Fucking Incompetent Management

As I've said before I work for a major chain bookstore. And am making every effort to find another fucking job. But the fact that SEVENTY FIVE fucking percent of all jobs are NEVER advertised and are filled instead through word of mouth or internal promotions and such means only the bottom scumjack 25% of jobs are what you see in the paper. And god, are they some scumjobs.

These past three days have been complete utter fucking hell at work. For some reason we have been drastically understaffed and every motherfucker has had shopping fever. I guess it's the combination of Father's Day and graduation and just the goddamn moon but it hasn't been this busy since fragging X-mas. I have spent the vast majority of each day stuck on register, scarcely able to stretch or gulp down a swallow of water before the next slow-moving customer slaps down their dipshit books and CD's onto the counter. Like a goddamn factory assembly line. Desperate to give us their money and sighing and tapping their feet and mouths curling when not served quickly enough.

Early afternoon with just me up at register to cover the cashier's break. Line spiraling past infinity and too many employees at lunch at the same time. Three back up calls made in the space of a few minutes and no fragging response. The joy of it is, the general manager, this guy whom we must assume has gained control over an entire store by being fast on his feet and attentive to the needs of the store, (hah) this asshole is standing at the front of the store playing with the bestseller tables. Not doing anything particularly important, basically scratching his ass. Only about 10 feet from the register.. keeps glancing nervously at the lengthening line... knows damn well there aren't any more employees who can back me up.. won't lift a fucking finger to ring anyone up. That's customer service, mates!

Later on... a customer is making a return which requires manager approval. Which means the cashier must page the manager.. wait and wait and hope the manager will return the phone call.. then more waiting for the manager to show up. This can easily take 5 minutes or more. This customer happens to have two children.. one of these crotch fruits is screaming and squalling and wailing and all of the other wonderful noises these fuckers make. The line is 15 or 20 people long with many more customers milling about and this crotch rot craphead is making all of us just miserable. I have called the floor manager twice with absolutely no response. Of course this is the general manager whom I can clearly see standing with his thumb up his ass at the information desk, not doing anything. Now I must give up and call the other manager all the way from the back office. More waiting and squalling. My fellow cashier grumbles something under her breath and the customer immediately starts ranting and raving.

"You know I really don't appreciate your partner complaining about my child. Apparently she has never had kids or has forgotten what it's like.. etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum."

To which I wanted to say, And now I never want to find out what it's like.

One thing I cannot stand is the sense of entitlement that parents have with their children. They feel they can drag their snot-dribbling crotch-polyps around anywhere screaming and piercing ears at will and anyone who gets upset HAS A PROBLEM. Fine, you think your kids are the greatest thing to fall out of your uterus since your last douche, but I don't give a crap. Control your kids or leave 'em home. There is not a single public place anywhere where there is not a screaming kid somewhere. Any restaurant or store or mall is inundated with the cries of spoiled genetic miscreants... Nobody knows or cares to shut their kids up.

Speaking of how frigging HARD it is to find a god damn job... I saw an ad for a job fair for the power company. They are hiring meter readers for the astonishing sum of $11.90 an hour! Which is nearly twice what I make now. So I definitely showed up. But those assholes would not give me the time of day. They were looking for people with 'outdoors' experience.

How hard is it to walk around and read fucking meters??

It really.... really... makes me angry that they would not even give me an application. They would not give me a chance. That really upsets me.. Its feels terrible that I am so valueless that I cannot get consideration for a crappy meter-reading job. I spent 3 or 4 years in fast food.. then 2 in a factory.. now almost 2 in a hell retail job that pays shit.

There are no fucking jobs out there.

2002-05-22T18:58:00.000-04:00

Commenting

The commenting system should be back online in the next few days.

2002-05-22T18:46:00.000-04:00

Big Brother

I was distressed to find out today that my apartment had been 'searched' by an agent of the rental office. We received a vague and ominous note yesterday to watch out for suspicious terrorist activities and some crap. You know, if you see your neighbors putting together mail bombs on their balcony or something you might want to report it. We didn't even notice at first that anyone had been in here until my boyfriend saw a note on the table. 'We were in today to check the wood of the balcony and the exhaust fans', it said. Fairly strange, since the lease seems to specify that we be notified in advance of any maintenance intrusions. But I did not think much of this beyond annoyance that my apartment had been entered without my knowledge (my opinion of maintenance is rather low to begin with). So my boyfriend takes the note to the rental office and the office manager volunteers that there is a 'new law' which mandates random searches of all apartments.

What?

Okay, maybe this lady was full of shit. It seems hard to believe (well, not really) that a law could be passed with such little fanfare that violates the need for a search warrant. I'll probably do a web search at some point.. It just underscores my belief that the landless and the capitally deprived just aren't worth shit in this society.

I'm moving into a townhouse at the end of the lease. Maybe then I can keep George Bush out of my bedroom.

2002-04-27T18:03:00.000-04:00

Time Zone

Upon trying to unsubscribe from the Papa John's newsletter I see this:

**Please Note: You have received this Email because you have selected the option to receive notices about specials and other online related information from us in your Email Preferences. If you would like to unsubscribe, please click here between 11:00 am and 3:00 am eastern time.

What? Did they only pay 2/3 of their site hosting fee?

I encountered a rather tall, beefy customer today who was chewing a gigantic straw. He didn't stop gnashing his teeth upon this plastic fucking straw for a single moment, not even while speaking. He was rather unkempt and insisted upon standing directly next to me while I desperately toggled the keyboard trying to escape the shower of spittle raining down upon me.

Thanks, bub.

I was gonna blog something else but I don't remember what the hell it was. Maybe later.

2002-04-24T19:51:00.000-04:00

Spam free at last

I have finally discovered the key to spam free email: disposable email accounts.

And I am not talking about using and discarding infinite Hotmail accounts.

I regularly get around 40+ spams in my box every damn day. (I recently read an article about spam in which the author kvetches about receiving over 4 spams a week. I should be so lucky!) I suppose I have contributed to my demise by using the same Hotmail account for damn near everything, foolish or not, for the last, say, 5 or more years.

I never bothered to change emails because of the effort of updating with numerous agencies, and the foolish notion that any email would rapidly become as clogged and useless.

But now I have discovered sneakemail.com.

This site (there are others that do the same thing) will randomly generate an address for you upon request, as many times as you like. (One of these addresses can be seen near the top of this blog, as a matter of fact.) Granted, randomly generated clumps of alphanumeric characters aren't going to get you very far at the club. And fpj6jcwrt3001@sneakemail.com does not inspire much trust from the non-acquainted crowd. But it is a 'real' address, in that any mail sent to it will reach me. It will simply be forwarded to my actual, secret address which you, the public, can not find out. I can even reply without showing my cards.

Now here is the beauty of it all. If someone or some bot decides to add fpj6jcwrt3001@sneakemail.com to some crappy list and I start receiving mail about penis enlargement, I will know which address is now bad. And simply replace it. No more spam! And my true email is safe. Of course if my real email gets leaked, I can change that as well. I will only have to change it at sneakemail.com.. since it is secret and no one else needs to be notified.

This site basically functions as a shield, guarding my email from unwanted spam. (What other kind is there?)

2002-04-24T19:28:00.000-04:00

Mood Ring

In case, you haven't noticed, I'm in a bit of a black mood today.

Not an apology, btw.

2002-04-24T19:27:00.000-04:00

Save the Fucking Hominids

I found a cool essay at the Church of Euthanasia website, another of my faves. It's by Joy Williams, and apparently originally appeared in Granta magazine. It's 'bout humandkind's ridiculous attachment to those blubbering piles of fat, babies.

God, I'm such a radical.

2002-04-24T19:24:00.000-04:00

Helpless

I was flabbergasted by a woman today.

She had a bum arm. I did not even notice this at first, her handicap was so slight.

She prodded me for a book that was on hold for her and I set it on the counter in front of her. She slapped down a credit card on top of the book. (One of my top pet peeves.. people who cannot tell the fucking difference between the information desk and cash register. There are dozens every day. Hello??) I informed her that she could not pay at the info desk and pointed her to the registers. She looked at me with saucer eyes, clearly aghast. "I can't carry this, I'm Handicapped."

She had no problem whatsoever whipping out that credit card, or driving to the store, but was suddenly unable to carry a simple book with her free hand.

So I carried it up to the register and was annoyed to see that there was already a line of several people. Instead of getting in line the woman has followed me directly to the register.

One of the primary responsibilities of the cashier is to make sure customers are served IN ORDER. Now my task is to convince this woman to get into line somehow.

I offered to hold the books while she got into line. Hint?

She looked confused, as though she cannot comprehend that I have actually asked her to respect those ahead of her.

"Can't you just...", she stops midway.

There is an endless stream of midgets, spasmatics, really fucking old gits, and the wheelchair-bound, but not once has anyone demanded front-of-line privileges.

Now I do a split-second calculation. Which is likely to be worse, the woman's ensuing hissy fit if I persist? Or the 3 or 4 people who are about to be cut in front of? You would be surprised how many times a day the average retail clerk must weigh stupidities such as this.

I cave in shamelessly to the woman's demand just to get her out of the store. I was truly annoyed by her attitude of absolute entitlement as though God, in his infinite cruelty, had not only prevented her from tucking spare items under her arm (or, heaven forfend, actually carrying a large purse or receptacle about), but also rendered her incapable of waiting in line like an honest-to-god human fucking being.

2002-04-22T13:52:00.000-04:00

Another Cry for Help in an Unsane World

Here's another favorite website that I recently rediscovered: Unamerican Activities. I usually visit to peruse their never-ending stock of peacenik/environmental/etc bumper stickers and t-shirts. I recently purchased an awesome 'Wage Slave' tshirt and a fuckload of buttons. There's also all kinds of stuff to read which I only wish I'd gotten around to.

So check them out.

2002-04-18T22:00:00.000-04:00

What does the future hold?

I ran a stichomancy over at Facade. Stichomancy is a method of divination in which a random passage in a random text is interpreted. Now I should say that I do not really believe that Tarot or other methods of 'psychic' reading or divination can 'predict the future' or any such thing. Rather these should be viewed as tools for interpretation and illumination of reality and life experience. So.. onward.

I stuck to the stock question:

What does the future hold? (Hey, it's one size fits all. I can't argue with that.)

You choose a copy of Pagan and Christian Creeds by Edward Carpenter from the library and opening to a random page you read the following...

[3] See Ancient Hunters (1915); also Hastings's Encycl. art. "Ethnology"; and Havelock Ellis, "The Origin of War," in The Philosophy of Conflict and other Essays.

No doubt many geologists and anthropologists would favor periods greatly LONGER than those here mentioned; but possibly there would be some agreement as to the RATIO to each other of the times concerned: that is, the said authorities would probably allow for a VERY long animal-man[1]- period corresponding to the first stage; for a much shorter aggressively 'self conscious' period, corresponding to the Second Stage--perhaps lasting only one thirtieth or fiftieth of the time of the first period; and then--if they looked forward at all to a third stage--would be inclined for obvious reasons to attribute to that again a very extended duration.

Let's see now: a VERY long animal-man[1]- period corresponding to the first stage

I interpret this to be mankind's evolution up until 'civilization' (however you wish to define that). I am drawing a very blurry line here that ends roughly around the last thousand years.

a much shorter aggressively 'self conscious' period, corresponding to the Second Stage--perhaps lasting only one thirtieth or fiftieth of the time of the first period

That is the information age and the era of world wars; a very short time in the eye of history.

and then--if they looked forward at all to a third stage--would be inclined for obvious reasons to attribute to that again a very extended duration.

Wow. This part really packs a whallop. Now this honestly does not predict the state of the next Age, which is certainly fair enough. If they looked forward at all to a third stage-- Hmm.. perhaps there will be no third stage. Or we are behaving like bulls in a china shop, with no regard or care for the consequences.

So we stand upon the edge of a knife. Which way shall we fall? But a fall.. it shall be. I do feel the winds of change blowing up.. I predict a hurricane, and no mere spring bluster.

2002-04-18T16:13:00.000-04:00

Adbusters Magazine

The new Adbusters magazine is on the shelf today.

A woman from Ontario writes them:
I work at Chapters bookstore. The other day a cashier was serving a customer when another customer interrupted. "I'll be with you in a second," said the cashier. The man started freaking out. He lodged a complaint, and got my co-worker in trouble. I see this all the time; people don't want to wait for anything, and they take everything out on you. To me, this deterioration of kindness and consideration is the most insidious blight on our mental environment - when our rights as consumers overshadow our responsibilities to each other as human beings.
I have been personally appalled at this phenomenon for quite some time now. It's not uncommon to have two employees each helping someone at the information counter while a third customer walks up and demands: Is there someone who can help me? Well, yes, but you'll just have to wait a minute.. No, on second thought, I'll reach back into the bookstore communal hive mind and summon forth another clone to help you find the latest 'Left Behind' novel RIGHT THIS MINUTE. It's very common to be interrupted by a customer when you are obviously helping someone at the moment.

Aside from the occasional hysteric-enhanced 'customer experience' this sort of insanity tends to manifest itself in smaller but no less annoying ways. Customers staring at you while you are helping someone on the phone. Tossing change at you at the check-out. Leaving garbage and unwanted books and magazines everywhere: under chairs, behind shelves, in bathroom stalls. I shelved recently in a section where a couple were sitting. Annoyed by my presence they promptly got up and left behind a large pile of books and papers as a going-away present. Thanks! I suppose it's our 'job' to clean these things up and reorganize and tidy constantly, but why should we have to? Customers know and realize that someone has to clean this crap up. They just don't care. I'm constantly disappointed that these thoughtless cruelties are inflicted upon us by what are normally considered to be rational and adult human beings. And what really needles me is that I am powerless to say anything. I couldn't possibly put a damper on their happy little shopping excursion by requesting a modicum of respect!

I'd be fired.

2002-04-15T22:55:00.000-04:00

No Comment

Sorry, the comments are down til Saturday or longer. But feel free to spam the tag-board to the left.

You know you want to.

2002-04-15T22:44:00.000-04:00

Michael Moore

Excerpts from Moore's latest newletter:

The front page of the Tampa Tribune yesterday was all ablaze with the news about the convention of Florida's Democrats on Saturday in Orlando. There was a color photo of a smiling, waving Al Gore. Lieberman was there and so was Kerry and a host of other stars of the Democratic Party. About 2,500 Floridians were in attendance.

But in Tampa, on that same night, I was looking out from the stage at the Sun Dome at a crowd of nearly 7,000 people who had come to the "Democracy Rising" rally organized by Ralph Nader. Tampa has now produced the largest crowd of the book tour (I signed the 2000th book of the evening somewhere around 2am). This is 3 times the crowd that the Democrats got and, again, there is virtually no coverage.

Figures, huh?

But remember - it NO LONGER MATTERS that most of the media ignores the real news. It no longer matters because much of the media has chosen to make itself irrelevant through its lazy reporting, sleazy presentation, its obedience to the corporate agenda, and all the blowhard pundits who scream out their useless opinions. A political shift has occurred in the country and the media has completely missed it. We have become a nation where the majority of citizens are very liberal and progressive on the issues. The majority of Americans now call themselves pro-environment, pro-choice, pro-labor, and anti-Big Business. 154 million out of the 200 million voters in this country did NOT cast a vote for George W. Bush. That is the America in which we now live. Liberal, progressive, and sick of the stupid white men who run the country.

On a lighter note, my boyfriend brought this beanie Wienermobile home from work:

It does not look like a caterpillar on a skateboard.

You can view the inside of the Wienermobile here!

2002-04-13T23:52:00.000-04:00

Boil and Bubble, Toilet Trouble

How to use Japanese style toilet.

Need I say more?

2002-04-12T22:09:00.000-04:00

New Comment System

I've installed a comment system. Check it out.

I guess it's sort of redundant to have both the tag-board and the comment system... but so what?

2002-04-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

Tales from the Bathroom, Vol. XXVII

I had a woman walk up to the information desk in the store where I work and demand to speak to a manager. Upon inquiring whither I could help her she informed me that we
'need to post a sign in the woman's bathroom telling people not to pee on the potty seats. This is a good way of spreading hepatitis, AIDS (some other disease I can't bloody remember); especially hepatitis. And you should get parents to teach their children to not pee on the seats.

Ummmm... yeah. I'll get right on that.

Just like the lady who stormed in and demanded that we 'post book police' in the children's section to prevent the bloody rugrats from tearing things apart.

Actually, I've found that posting signs and other attempts at discouraging disreputable behaviour only encourages that sort of behaviour. But I'm all in favor of lurking in hiding and jumping out at appropriate moments to say, electroshock offenders. A little punitive action goes a long way, if not towards preventing further bad activities, but definitely towards a damn good time.

2002-04-11T21:53:00.000-04:00

Baby's First Fan Mail

I went to your blogs.

I read them.

They are fun to read.

They are blogs to be reckoned with. (Blogs with which to be reckoned)

Yeah, and thanx (sincerely) for that plug for ISIS Productions on your page.

Well, it's good to know my blog is at least entertaining to someone besides myself.. I try to keep the pedantic rants to a tolerable level.. although I must confess... the temptation.. to rant... must rant... drool..

Oh yes, can I hype them some more? Videography. Big Apple. ISIS Productions. Three concepts that should be inextricably entwined together for anyone with commercial, video, advertising, etc. video needs.

Bahahaha.. On a side note, Triple H just pulled Kurt Angle's shorts down to reveal his black thong.

I really shouldn't watch TV and blog at the same time.

2002-04-10T21:16:00.000-04:00

Credit Card Offers From Hell

Y'know, I have some godawful credit. I've checked my credit report before and I consistently rank in the bottom 5-10% of Americans with credit ratings.. or so the report claims. The only reasons the report gives seem to boil down to: I'm poor. I have no or a very short credit history (okay, let's start everyone with BAD credit and then move on up.. what?), and I was late on a few payments several years ago. Despite the fact that I haven't missed payments since then my credit stubbornly refuses to improve. What?

So the four credit cards I have now all have $50-$70 annual fees (ouch) and 20+% APR. Wonderful!

Some of the credit card offers I have received in the past are definitely targeted towards either the dismally stupid or the abysmally desperate. But the one I received today took my breath away with its generous terms:

9.9% APR - Now we're talking!
Required Security Deposit - $0 - Well, duh.
APR for Cash Advances - 23.9% - Well, using your credit card for cash advances is probably not such a hot idea at any rate.
If your account goes past the due date two times in any six month period or goes past the due date for two consecutive billing cycles, the APR will increase to 23.9% - Hmm.. do they keep their fingers crossed?

Account Set Up Fee $29.00 (one-time fee)
Program Fee $95.00 (one-time fee)
Annual Fee $48.00
Participation Fee $72.00 (annually, charged $6.00 a month)
Credit Line Increase Fee $25.00
Return Item Charge $25.00
Express Card Delivery $25.00

Let's see.. that's a total of $124 for the honor of setting up a credit account with this issuer. Plus the $120 annual fee. This amount will show up on your first credit card bill before you get to spend a dime: $178. Well for all this trouble the credit limit must be great. You get at least a $250 credit limit! Spend $178, get $72 worth of credit. A bargain! And with the $25 return fee you'd better think twice about returning those socks to Wal-Mart. For only $25 extra you can have the card delivered Express Mail!

2002-04-09T23:07:00.000-04:00

The Way Business Should Be Run

Browsing wholesale t-shirt sites I came across this example of the way we can only wish more businesses and corporations were run. Pipe dreams...

2002-04-09T22:33:00.000-04:00

Crushing Doom

Christ, I never imagined it would be so difficult to update this blog every day.

Anyhow, I plan to start putting up a cartoon. It'll be sorta like Dilbert, but from a retail/drudge wage slave perspective. And not as nice.

So watch this space.

2002-04-08T13:34:00.000-04:00

Text Based Adventures

For those wishing to have a tag-board on their own page, one can be acquired for free at www.tag-board.com. The proprietor seems to like Gore Vidal, so give him mad props, y'all.

Anyone wishing to try online multi-player games who is tired of the same old monster killing models or whose computer simply can't hack the ever increasing graphics load or who is tired of paying for it... should try Ancient Anguish.. It's a text based multiplayer online adventure, one of the most popular and oldest on the net. It's celebrating it's 10th anniversary right now, as a matter of fact. You'll need a telnet client to access it, but most browsers have a rudimentary one built in. It's a fantasy based MUD with around 300 people on at any given time, so feel free to ask for help.

2002-04-05T01:04:00.000-05:00

Tag-board

There is now a tag-board on the lower left for you to leave comments on. I'll move it up to better visibility later on.

2002-04-03T22:41:00.000-05:00

Gore Vidal

Fans of Michael Moore would be well advised to check out Gore Vidal's latest collection of essays newly available in the U.S. about the events surrounding 9/11. There is an interview and reviews here.

2002-04-02T17:24:00.000-05:00

Spam Tastes Bad

Well... writing about spam so much must have jinxed me. Yesterday I was the victim of a malicious spam attack which flooded my inbox with over 1000k worth of the same mail. It took me a good half an hour to delete them all because my browser was slowed down so much. I have to assume this was some sort of goof because why would anyone seriously believe that seeing 250 copies of the same message would cause me to blow my dough on '5936 Register to win your Dream Vacation 47425'? Not only that, I found a single solitary copy of this message in my box again today. Do they really think I wouldn't recognize their email address? I wish ISP's would simply block people from mass mailing this crap out. It doesn't seem like it would really be that hard to do. This sort of activity rates: Eternal Damnation. If only I believed in Hell.

{} Nasty Flea Bitten Whores!!! {}

Well.. it's original. It even has ASCII art. This made me laugh and so it rates a 3.

2002-03-31T12:10:00.000-05:00

Even More Spam Ratings

Are you Single? Find someone Today

Attention Home Owners

Make Money Working From Home

agatha

No, nope, working on it, and... what?
Get your Free T-Shirt

'Free' on the web usually means signing up for some crappy service, which is rarely free.
Get your FREE T-Shirt!
Just fill in the Milesource form below.
Then, we will send you a link to your FREE T-Shirt within 24 hours.

Yeah, this is a winner.

Upon opening this link I was barraged by about 8 pop-up windows. When was the last time you hit a pop-up and you actually thought, 'Gee! I wonder what fabulous service or product I am being proffered now.' It doesn't happen folks. (Even banners are preferable to pop-ups, IMHO) Unfortunately, despite all the news reports about how crappy the web advertising market is, it doesn't seem to have slowed the deluge of crap. I've noticed disturbing new trends. Upon attempting to load a new page, you are forced to endure some sort of spam before the page loads. Or the spam simply takes over the browser whilst you are in the middle of reading an article. Charming. A sure way to dramatically reduce hits to that site.

2002-03-30T19:58:00.000-05:00

More Spam Ratings

Hi Jack, Here is my home phone number

I don't get this. I really don't. Is this person hoping that every person named Jack will open this email in great excitement and be ensnared in their scam? Lame. Rating: 0.

Re: Your Unclaimed Class-Action Settlement

Now, really. Come on. If I had a class action settlement, I'd sure as hell claim it. This spam rates: 1.

Q U I T S M O K I N G in 7 days!

Stop Hairloss This Weekend!

Damn. They know more about me than I do. This spam rates: 2 for vague humor.
Warm, Wet Moaning Pussy, jshfqv

I'm amazed at how much porn there is on the web. There must be hundreds of thousands of female porn stars making a living at this. It's kinda weird to think about it. This spam rates: 1. Come on. I get millions of porn spams in my box. Bore me some more while you're at it.
Your approved.....

Yeah, sure I am. Spammers seem to have a lot of difficulty spelling 'you're' and its homonyms.

2002-03-29T16:14:00.000-05:00

Spam Ratings

I'm constantly amazed at the quantity and variety of spam emails that deluge my box on a daily (heck, minutely) basis. I receive 'offers' and ads for all sorts of porn, international drivers licenses, and get rich quick schemes, to barely skim the surface. Would anyone actually attempt to purchase or apply for a new international drivers license from a dubious spam sent from a complete stranger? 99% of these emails or websites are shut down by the time one clicks on the url. Does the spammee actually receive any 'income' from these scams? I guess they must, cause they keep streaming in.

And now for the ratings. I am going to sample spam mails from my box and rate them from 1 to 5, 5 being the most. Most what, you say? Entertaining, useful, plausible, ____, does it really matter?

Fwd: 10 Comandments of a Teenager

All right. This is from some bozo who has added me to his personal email list. I've noticed a disturbing trend with complete strangers blasting me with this sort of tripe: Dan Boy is dying of cancer. Please forward this email to 10,000 people in the next 24 hours or God will smite him with plague. etc. etc. I've been getting this from friends/aquaintances for years but the concept that people might amass stranger's emails by the truckload to spam them with no thought of profit is mildly disturbing, to say the least. This spam rates: a big fat ZERO.

U N I V E R S I T Y D I P L O M A S

I must get this everyday. The spam never changes. It looks exactly the same every time. Creepy.

Does anyone really think they can buy a university diploma through the web that's useful for anything besides wiping your arse with?

'Diplomas from prestigious non-accredited universities based on your present knowledge and life experience.'

Non-accredited. Right. This spam rates: 1.

Reach The Masses With E-Mail 3529oMmYl8

I've never understood the scrawl of characters in the subject line. Don't spammers realize that this screams SPAM?

'Reach the Masses
Direct E-Mail Advertising
If we can reach you, You can reach them!'

True enough, I suppose. This spam rates: a 4, for sheer chutzpah.

Discover you're past FREE at Ancestry.com

Now this is pathetic. There's nothing worse than spam with typos or grammar errors in the subject line. It's horribly unprofessional. (Although if spammers had any professional pride, they wouldn't be spammers, now, would they?) What's really embarassing is when they mispell the name of the product they're pitching. I have another bone to pick with this particular entity since I have requested email removal from their list multiple times with no apparent effect. This spam rates: Something in the negatives.

RE: Your New GOLD Card

Spam that looks like a reply to an inquiry from myself are annoying. I especially hate credit card spam because they usually claim that you are 'pre-approved'. Most of these 'pre-approved' lenders deny me after I apply. Wtf?

This spam rates: Demonic.

That's all the spam for today. I didn't get any spam about Viagra or 'tight wet teen pussy'. I'm actively disappointed.

2002-03-28T22:07:00.000-05:00

'War' on Terrorism

The Nation has a fantastic article to counter the rabid pro-war hawks. This piece clearly shows the devastation that our national foreign policy creates as we indiscriminately bomb those civilians with the chutzpah to exist outside of the United States.

2002-03-27T22:55:00.000-05:00

Bathroom Tales, Volume 3

Readers of my previous posts know that I work in a bookstore. Unfortunately employees have no restroom of their own and are condemned to share with the great unwashed masses. And believe ye me when i say unwashed.

I really am ashamed to note that a LARGE number of people (female customers at least), don't wash their hands after using the crapper.

Not even a rinse. Not even a courtesy wipe on a paper towel. Think about that the next time you touch the door handle on the way out.

I hate to lecture. But it's profoundly gross. It's no wonder that there is always some kind of flu or 'bug' going around.

If you think that You are A Special Person Devoid Of Germs, you are Wrong. We know better.

2002-03-25T13:35:00.000-05:00

One-Stop Moving Picture Drive-Thru

I'm going to hype my friend's website and company Isis Productions now.

He does commercials, videos, movies, all sorts of stuff. Maybe even some music if you ask him really nicely. If you're in the Big Apple give him a ring.

2002-03-25T13:28:00.000-05:00

Save the Damn Kittens

All right this is on everyone's blog now but it's just so messed up I'm going to post it anyway.

2002-03-24T22:22:00.000-05:00

Adbusters

All right... no bathroom crap today. I promise.

But I am going to hype one of my favorite magazines, whose website can be found at Adbusters.com.

It basically punctures holes in our 'American Dream' of over-commercialization and corporatization. Corporations are taking over the world, polluting and offering us crap wages in return. We can't even take a crap in a public restroom without running into advertisements. Etc. etc. You know the story. Check out the site.

2002-03-22T22:47:00.000-05:00

Bum Rush

Let's continue the thread from the previous post.. namely, bathrooms.

I've only worked in this book store for about a year and a half and I am continually amazed and apalled at the things that occur in public bathrooms. (I can only speculate what goings-on may transpire in the men's room.)

The most memorable incident occurred about a year ago. Alerted by a most noxious odor that permeated the entire store, I learned that a man in the men's room was lighting himself on fire. Apparently, he was pouring/splashing rubbing alcohol onto his arms and scalp and lighting himself with a lighter. After quite some confusion the cops were summoned to escort the man peacefully away. As far as I know he has never set foot back inside of our establishment.

Now I did not know this but apparently lighter fluid burns away so fast that it will not actually harm the skin. (Or so I've heard. I have trouble believing this.) This is used by certain brave souls to remove the hair from their body. Needless to say, burning hair does NOT smell very good.

It take two days for the smell to leave the store.

Join us tomorrow for more Tales from the Bathroom... if you dare.

2002-03-21T17:34:00.000-05:00

Porn Star

Well, I should say that I work for a major chain book store. Today some guy tried to abscond into the men's room with some porn mags. If you ever saw the movie 'Clerks', you will remember the scene with the old fart who has happy happy fun in the men's room with borrowed porn. Anyone who works for a store that does not keep the porn behind the counter has a problem with this. Not being a man, I really don't know how often this happens at this store. Nor do I quite understand the rationale behind the phenomenon. Sure, you won't have to BUY it, but, Christ. There is unbelievable quantities of porn for free on the web. Just delete it from your history list! Perhaps they get off on the cheapness of semi-public masturbation?

At any rate we started putting magnetic senso-tags on the mags. Any jerk with half a brain would tear the bag off, thus removing the tag. Sometimes if I'm really feeling evil I will tear a hole in the bag and stuff the tag inside the mag itself. A minor violation of its sanctity, true, but quite small compared to the violation that it prevents..

Anyhow, the tag set off the sensors at the bathroom door and the man dumped the magazines into the water fountain and split. Classy.

2002-03-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

Link to a fellow Blogger

I know, I know, more of the same. How original. But this is merely Blogger.com's insidious plan to link every blog to every other blog until the passive browser is sucked into the Blog Zone, never to emerge.

Gingerotta

Sue me.

2002-03-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

T-shirts

Welp.. I've added a link to my first attempt at merchandising through Cafepress.com.. exciting, eh? Do check it out.

2002-03-04T20:28:00.000-05:00
I'm going to announce my plans for this site if they are of interest to anyone besides myself (which I highly doubt). Eventually this will all be located at www.rationalfutures.com and will consist of some sort of blog, links to important sites, and, of course, merchandise which will hopefully pay for the hosting fees.

Basically, the usual.

I'm hoping to promote leftist peacenik thinking.. you know.. the usual.

2002-03-04T11:48:00.000-05:00
Well, I just got back from a rather harrowing trip to Cleveland, Ohio.. the most interesting thing on this trip was this Carvel truck we passed at one point.
You can't really see it, but the bottom says, "Surprise someone special tonight." As you can see, the woman's forehead is perfectly covered by a little door.. I suppose this gives a new meaning to the phrase ice cream headache? To top things off, the little girl has a little red stud in her neck, Frankenstein-style. Makes you wonder...

2002-02-25T23:38:00.000-05:00
Well here's a cool blog by Tom Tomorrow:

http://www.thismodernworld.com

Check out the comics too.

2002-02-20T22:03:00.000-05:00
There comes a point in your life when you realize you know more celebrities by name and can recognize them by face than you know actual, real people. It's kind of scary, actually.

2002-02-20T22:01:00.000-05:00
This is a test.